So today, I'm pretty grossed out and disgusted with myself. Why? Well its day two of my 7 Day Slim Down. Only... my lunch made me GAG. seriously. I am so over chicken and spinach and well... to be honest I haven't even tried to get creative with it. And that, my friends, brings on the self loathing. I ate mac and cheese. Granted, it was organic, but we ate the whole box. As big as Sophie is... I just can't blame much of that on her.
Tomorrow is a new day, and with it comes new motivation. Fresh. I need to be better at respecting my body. I have a HUGE wealth of knowledge about food.. diets, lifestyles, health, fitness... growing up half the time in a home that revolved around chocolate and sweet tea and the other half with a diet-obsessed parent constantly berating her body image (which was smaller than me!).. well, I've had my share of struggles with food. I'll leave it at that. I do not want to put that on my daughters. I refuse. My kids will hear me talk about food, but Olivia already knows the secret to being happy with your body is to eat organic, fresh, and to exercise regularly (doing something you love). I am actually impressed with all of the food knowledge Olivia has retained, and how she will tell me about her healthy choices, or how good her lunch was when they ate crap at school (or someone's mom sent a dozen cookies for them as their afternoon snack).
I did, however, get up to do my bootycall today (I did yoga) and I felt good about that. I really felt great until after lunch, when I couldn't finish what I was trying to eat (ugh, chicken- so over it. From now on my protein will be tofu, or black beans.. at least for a while). Then a package came from my awesome cousin Kylea.. loaded down with SO MANY SUGARY TREATS... so I sampled a bite.. and then Sophia needed lunch so we made Annie's organic white shells and cheese. Let me tell you... I felt guilty with every bite and afterward I felt SO SICK. I'm sure it was all mental, because I felt like I was failing my TIU 7DSD girls... and I did. :( I'm so sorry.
So with that... guilt.. tomorrow I bounce back. I felt a little sad (a lot sad) all day, actually. Maybe that is part of why I was so easily swayed. I realized today.. just how lonely I am! I need a BFF that lives close. I miss spontaneity. I miss laughing so hard I cry (Anna Ramirez you were the best for this one). I miss champagne brunch and tea parties (another thing I really, truly miss Anna for!). Kayaking.. road trips, gossip, heart to heart talks. I miss having someone. Living here is really starting to get to me. All the more motivation to work harder, I suppose.
What keeps YOU motivated? Not just fitness motivation.. but motivated in life. I would love to know.
